#that we as a people can't catch a break
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This war has been flipping my schedule upside down, so I completely forgot about my late grandfather's birthday, which was last week, but -
He was born in 1924, and lived in Poland with his family till the war broke out. He lost his parents and got separated from his little brother. He was in Auschwitz, and he survived the death marches. He immigrated to Israel, determined to put as much distance as possible between himself and the memory of the war. He owned a farm near the coast for one short year, and then war broke out again. He fought in it. He spent a year as a POW near Cairo. He came back to his wife. He lost a baby. Then another war broke out. He fought in that one too.
it's absolutely wild to me that this shit, like, never ends. We never get to catch our breaths. Like. What.
#jewish#jews#israel#am israel hai#war#ישראבלר#jumblr#ישראל#jewish history#survival story#family#it's nuts#it's just crazy#that we as a people can't catch a break#like whyyy
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#messyr#artists on tumblr#vent post#vent art#tw sui ideation#being busy keeps me distracted as f from these behaviors and thoughts;#keeping distracted bc idfk how to get rid of the urges from intrusive and harmful thoughts#every scenario is just like: hey we can try attempting again today maybe we'll succeed this time!!!#then i'll be rational (focusing on the present) and go : nah cant bro we busy#got clients. gotta graduate. got people to take care of. got people waiting blah blah blah#the endless list where i never catch a break and maybe I've grown used to it.#i yearn death but i don't take its offer. I can't really leave. Not yet. not when there's still too much to do.
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Howdy peepers, I've been feeling pretty down lately but I think I'm on the right path to snap out of it!
See yall on monday hopefully
#to be honest recent political news got me anxious and just.. disheartened#not gonna lie rather depressed#but i guess that's a normal reaction#god it's just so awful#change of subject- i might be a bit burned out too because of all the stressing i subjected myself to this month#but worries be damned my grades ain't overall half bad#THO you just can't catch a break when it comes to college it seems#like we have to sign up for our classes on this website#based on your major obviously#and some people just don't pick the right classes hhhhh#and you see the waiting list for the class you need to sign up to is full because the goofs don't know what their course code is#which is weird like 😭 maybe there's a GOOD reason why your group mates' names aren't on the class list#because you didn't pick the right one aaaaaa#get outta here fella pleaaase#also on an unrelated note: it turns out i have a mild case of rosacea#it's not that suprising skin conditions run in the family#my mom's side of family at least#like my grandpa had rosacea. my mom has it too. my sister had acne (not anymore tho). my older brother too has something going on#i just thought i got lucky and inherited my dad's skin but guess not 💀#funniest thing is that almost everything makes rosacea act up#heat? cold? spicy food? stress? exercise? stress? alcohol? GODDAMN SUNLIGHT???#you name it#so yeahh not pleasant#if it won't get better mom will make an appointment with a dermatologist#uhh.. i guess that's all i wanted to say#for now at least#miss you guys hope all of you have been doing well :'>#random squeak
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Excuse you, where is my "Stiles and Isaac has been secretly dating for a year before Scott got bitten" fanfiction? You know, the one were their relationship got challenged when Stiles began lying to Isaac and finding excused to not meet up, all to help his best friend and co. with everything going on? In which Isaac gets into a big fight with Stiles before he gets turned, which makes things ten times worse when Isaac finds out his boyfriend knew about the supernatural and have been lying all this time? You know what I'm talking about.
#boyfriends to enemies to reluctant allies to boyfriends again#I'm a sucker for secret relationship but also it makes sense for it to be a secret with Isaac's father#I swear Stiles tries at least once a month to convince his boyfriend to report his father after all his father's the sheriff everything is#going to be ok. but also he can understand why Isaac won't do anything about it. All Stiles can do is be there for him#ANYWAY just the idea of people finding out they have been dating all this time? Gold#also the parallels??? because Stiles has prioritised his best friend and supernatural over his own boyfriend where Scott has done the#opposite#we all know Stiles kept it quite just to protect Isaac and keep him away from danger but still. Isaac doesn't see it like that#ok.but them getting back together and then the Nogitsune shit takes place???? they can't catch a break#teen wolf isaac#isaac lahey#teen wolf stiles#stiles stilinski#stiles x isaac#the betrayal man. the hurt. the PAIN. I love it#stisaac#teen wolf stisaac#teen wolf#if there's a fic similar with what I'm saying herr pls pls PLS let me know??? tge idea won't leave my mind and I'm losing it#Scott asking Stiles if he was ok after the break up and Stiles insisting that he's fine while Scott keep insisting and Stiles...#just breakdowns? but like more like blows up. he's hurt and it feels unfair that Scott got to keep the girl and be a werewolf while Stiles#lost everything. even his relationship with his father's shit because of all the lying he has done to protect/help the pack#and for what???#he lowkey knows is not Scott's fault. Stiles has made some choices and has to live up with the consequences#that doesn't really stop it from lashing at scott before starting to have a panick attack over losing Isaac#yk first love and all shit. that hurts the worst
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SUPER DARK TIMES (2017) DIR. KEVIN PHILLIPS
#super dark times#zach taylor#allison bannister#sam edits#if you listen closely you can hear the sound of both mine and Allison's hearts breaking! <3#ok but fr: i know this is gifs. so no sound. but the WAY he DELIVERS the 'you've got a bump on your head' line makes me NUTS#it's so soft. it's so fond. it's... it's a punch in the fucking gut. he likes her *so much* but he *can't let himself have this nice#thing with her* because he's *being eaten alive by guilt he can't accept & won't let himself be happy because of it* and SHE DOESN'T KNOW!#like the thing. the thing is. when you watch SDT you're along the ride with Zach and his POV of everything. despite the obvious paranoia#& guilt warping his perspective/influencing his behavior��we can see where that's all coming from. we understand the motivations#behind the actions he takes. but ALLISON? Allison has no fucking clue what's going on! from Allison's perspective... Zach is this guy she's#known for a while (like they make a point of *telling us* in one of the earliest scenes that Zach feels weird talking about her in the#detached way they may talk abt other people in their grade they barely know—because it's *different* since he and Josh *actually know her*#plus in the script [and it STILL COUNTS TO ME because she *starts* saying the line but just gets cut off by Dennis] Allison brings#up Zach & Josh having had a silly handshake since 7th grade ['oh god that used to make me pee!' <- girl why would u say that to him]#so it's like... these are kids who've known each other for years!) and he's got this obvious fucking crush on her (the hallway scene where#he is. blatantly staring and she catches him for a second) and the moment she decides to actually start pursuing him because SHE'S#got a crush on HIM too... he starts pulling away and acting erratic and sending her the most mixed signals in the fucking world.#and sheee THINKSSS ITS HERRR FAULT!!!!!!!! like. listen. this scene i giffed above? this is what she's fucking talking about later#when she jokes about not wanting to 'scare him off again'. like sure she says it like a joke but... uhm. i simply think there's#a certain amount of truth to it too—because he DID leave the party visibly freaked out! and i think it'd be perfectly believable for her#to think that it was at least partially HER pushing too hard that was causing him to withdraw/pull away from her. plus she blatantly says#she thinks she's the reason Josh & Zach are fighting. like. this poor girl is on the outskirts of a tragedy she'll probably NEVER know the#details of but she's seeing firsthand the impact it's having on Zach and... blaming herself... that's so fucking heartbreaking
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i'm begging my uni to stop making every fucking student social activity something where you have to walk around a bunch if you are a slow walker who cannot help it they literally want you dead
#i try to walk as fast as i humanly can. which i shouldn't bc it hurts and makes me dizzy. and i'm still slower than everyone else#last week we divided into groups and had to walk to checkpoints around the city to do tasks#i had a friend in my group who knows abt my issues and they walked slower with me which was nice. everyone else walked like 10 20 meters#ahead and it was fucking embarrassing bc for every checkpoint they had to wait for me#and i felt bad my friend couldn't talk to anyone else in the group bc they were zooming way ahead of us and i'm the one who couldn't keep up#and like. they didn't know my body's fucked. but these are people i do not know well at all and maybe i don't wanna disclose my medical#history to everyone i interact with#and like this event wasn't mandatory. i could've skipped it#but it's every fucking time#most nights we end up going to a bar and to these people “walking distance” is like a half an hour. and they walk fast#i can never keep up#i don't reallu enjoy bars either and i don't drink but you just kinda have to endure to socialize. some days i can't handle it tho#this week there's another checkpoint type activity. i know i shouldn't. i know i'm gonna slow everyone down#but i got specifically asked and invited to be a part of a team. i can't remember the last time that happened#also we're doing a group costume and mine includes platform heels on the streets of a very old city i am so cooked#my friend is nice tho. they know the basic lore and check up on me a bunch which always catches me off guard 😭#i'm used to pushing through and also used to people not really taking my shit into consideration so i don't know how to respond sometimes#2 people in the group know the issues and i just sent the gc a “sorry in advance i can't walk very fast” so like what else is there to do#only accessibility info we're ever given is if it's wheelchair accessible. and that's good. like you should do that. but it kinda ends there#like how much walking is there. where are the stops. are there places to sit.#i love having to either push through or be excluded disabilities are awesome#been in soooo much pain lately and have to take breaks walking uphill. functional body#i live in an area where everything. literally everything. is uphill one way or another. so as you can imagine it's going great#also “you have to endure to socialize” as if i don't end up hovering around my friend like a lost puppy with separation anxiety anyway#the group costume is winx club. btw
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I love being the always single person in my family, mad respect to my sister for constantly dating guys for the last 8 years, I would have shot myself
#whenever my mom asks if i have love news of my own while we're talking about my sister's newest catch and i say no#i hope she doesn't feel pity because like. this is the life that i choose. my sister's ex boyfriends were enough for ME even#and i only met a handful of them personally but heard more than enough shit about them#i just always think i'm only flirting with some guys only to never talk to them again or ghost them because it's fun#fat girl who's always been seen as ugly by other people gets to flirt with good looking people is the ultimate ego boost arc#if i ever date anyone seriously again it better be true love and end in kids and marriage until death or i'll live as a hermit#until that happens tho...... life is a party i don't wanna miss a thing break some men's heart get revenge yolo etc etc#also the thought of actively dating freaks me out. if i meet someone and we tolerate each other long term that's good#but dating apps or going on dates with several people and deciding who's the best like on the bachelorette?? death first#plus i lowkey don't like men as a concept. at least the type i've dated. i guess you could say my last ex traumatized me hahaha 👍🏻 (🔨🔨)#i think i'm too young to be in a committed relationship anyway. or even to seek getting into one. there are much more important things rn#i know former classmates my age are having kids or getting married but idgaf the one who got engaged last year has been with him for 7 year#which is a decent time tbh you change quite a bit during that time and if it feels right why not#but i can't wrap my head around searching for a relationship when you don't even have a stable job and know what else you want in life#rambling again sorryyyy but yeah proud single here and i'm not saying this out of spite because i genuinely enjoy it#all relationships i've been in were so draining (tbf they were long distance too) and got me at rock bottom and had me filled with regret#also these men can be so controlling and jealous when you just wanna go out with friends while they do whatever they want too#but when you say you don't want a jealous partner they think that's a free pass for them to cheat like what the actual fuck#do you see the difference between being unnecessarily jealous when you hang out with friends and being rightfully jealous when they cheat??#at this point idk what to say. i'm very entertained by my friends' dating journeys but that couldn't be me#all the gossip i provide for them is which people i flirted with for the ego and who i ghosted and who ghosted me#mel talks
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'wow I never would have guessed that melliwyk gets so strongly and instantly attracted to people for being clearly and overtly passionate about something, how funny' I say, as if her response to the warforged cleric with the life's mission of discovering lost and forgotten gods wasn't 'I've only had caretaker for five minutes but if anything happens to him I'm killing everyone in this room and myself'
#she's not attracted to caretaker at all for the record she just likes him SO MUCH#caretaker my best friend caretaker!!#'caretaker' is a kind of priest his name is essentially the same as just 'pastor' or 'brother'#he's got symbols of every known god etched into him like tattoos#we've only met him a few times throughout the campaign#and she was SO! EXCITED!! that we unexpectedly reconnected with him and she got to tell him about the raven queen#and now there's SO MUCH MORE SHE WANTS TO TELL HIM ABOUT but he's SO far away right now :')#uh to the original point of the post there WAS also the time there was a completely minor side NPC dockworker#who 1) had Wings of Flying and 2) was vocally Extremely Particular about 'her rigging'#and based on literally nothing else mel was lowkey like 'can we. talk to her more maybe. is she busy later do you think'#fdjhdgkfj like okay yeah she's always been like this we just haven't dealt with that many people like that#MAN there was also that one NPC who was like 'for all I've studied the weave I've never been able to affect it--'#'but recently I've been studying and developing an entirely novel form of spellcasting that's separate from the weave altogether'#'anyway you guys are welcome to stay with me and my wife' DAMN OKAY. JEEZ. a wizard can't catch a break :')#my OCs#melliwyk
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Part 6 of my poll adventure fic. Links: the beginning, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5.
It's mid-day Wednesday (at least for my time), which means a new part of my poll adventure fic, because I've been here for over a year and still don't know how to use this site effectively. :D (Oh wait, here, I made a poll about tumblr timing.)
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Valerie walked toward Vlad through the rubble, hugging a hissing and clawing Maddie against her armor. "Found him," she said proudly, smiling up at Vlad. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"
"Actually, there is. There's a malevolent ghost loose in Amity Park, posing a serious risk to my health, as well as to the city. I need him contained and brought to me."
Oh, cheese sticks with marinara dipping sauce! He had meant to do the responsible thing here—not ask a fourteen-year-old child who couldn't even hold a cat properly to risk her life in his stead.
...He really had become too accustomed to avoiding anything unpleasant.
"Sure thing, Mayor Masters!"
Maddie squirmed out of Valerie's hold with an angry yowl and ran off.
Well, he could still work with Valerie. ...If he truly wanted to. He was unlikely to succeed on his own, anyhow, if this older version of Daniel actually was as powerful as he'd heard.
But did he truly want to be a part of this endeavor? He was already dreading it, with only the thought.
He recalled what the older Daniel had said—that he let his emotions hold too much sway, and that in turn caused his plans to fail.
Which had been exactly the case when he'd felt some level of compassion for that ghost.
Thinking purely objectively, Vlad could still use the ghost if he could get him back under his control. And if Vlad were to have some part in the ghost's capture—in saving Amity Park—it would boost his ratings. He did need to keep his position as mayor of Amity Park for his contingency plans.
"Valerie, dear. Why don't we work together? I'm sure it's just misplaced guilt, but I can't help but feel somehow responsible for this situation. Ridiculous, I know. However, working with you on his capture would ease my poor conscience."
"Oh... uh, you've never suggested this before," Valerie said uncertainly, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, as though she was trying to think of some way that poor old 'Mayor Masters' could work with her. "But if that's what you want."
'Cheerleader' isn't, ah, a literal cheerleader. (Don't make me dress him up in a skirt.) It just means... like, advertising and cheering her on. More of a cheer-leader (...which is probably an even more literal meaning actually).
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"Alert me when there's an update" list:
@charlietheepic7, @chrysanthemum9484, @mymadmedleyw, @dp-marvel94, @aikoiya, @whydouwantmyname, @cinturon-cadena, @freakofyournature, @satanicrutialspecialist, @danphantom80
(if you want on the list, specifically ask to be alerted for updates in a tag or comment. Ask again if I forget! If I can't tag you, I'll send a Message.)
#danny phantom#vlad plasmius#valerie gray#poll fic#poll adventure#asj post#asj writing#Don't worry Maddie's fine. She(?) is just startled from the collapse and doesn't like strangers much.#We know Valerie's not a dog person but who said she was a cat person either?#Vlad will probably run into Danny in the next part.#(...you guys voting for Vlad to ask two young children to help him catch a very dangerous ghost.)#actually I probably should've thought to add an 'everyone he can' option. In Reign Storm against Pariah Dark he'd talked to several people#Hmm... if this works out good enough to later post on AO3 I'll need to remember to add that option.#(I'm afraid the plot is deteriorating though.)#(And I can't figure out how to End a path. This could go on forever. ...Especially if you guys keep shifting the plot.)#It's kind of fun though. You guys sometimes come up with such weird ideas.#...I'm not sure how long s post can be before I should add a Keep Reading/Read More break.
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I'm seriously hanging on by a thread right now I might just go drop dead 😭
#work has just been really overwhelming today I'm going to crack#I hate people#I almost broke down in front of the usher manager today because our radio died while we were falling behind becaus3#one of the theatres got out slightly late and set us back for like 45 minutes because everything was gettinf out one on top of the other#on complete opposite ends of the theater#amd it's not a small building guys#and I was already angry because there was a huge spill in a theater earlier I had to get a mop for and it was a pain in the ass#then we started falling behind and when we fall behind I get really stressed so I jad to ask the usher manager for help to catch up when we#were switching radios and even with his help we didn't catch back up until JUST NOW because we're on a 30 minute set break#and I've jusy been stressing and running around the theater and I want to go home and cry and drop dead#I'm so hot and tired and drained amd my legs have been sore for DAYS and this is NOT helping and I hate it here and I qant a real job#like I'm fucking 24 years old this shouldn't be the best I can do but trying to find anything else to get out of here has been IMPOSSIBLE#and I just feel so hopeless and helpless and trapped and miserable#I'm so angry and sad and tired and in pain and miserable all the time now#and it's awful and I hate it I don't wanna be that wah anymlre#I can't even type oh my god#I'm dying#abby's having a crisis
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It's sort of ironic how fans often link the leaf 🍁 to Dan Heng, considering "Feng" means "maple", but it's also so fitting
#The leaf following Dan Heng on his idle animation like the past identity he can't entirely leave behind because it always catches up to him#How the imagery appears on his splash art and his ultimate because it's irrevocably linked to who he is#even if in his trying to reclaim his right to be himself#The way he catches the leaf‚ looks at it thoughtfully and then lets it go...#I always loved his idle but after finding out the meaning I thought like I was being hit with a club#The fact that apparently according to some magazine he named himself after the 'Dan' engraved on Cloud Piercer is also very juicy#Because he chose himself to be linked to that past he is trying to break free from. It really enhances how the past is not something he is#negating entirely but something he wants to move on from. Likewise we see him try to get responsibility from his past and make things better#while he keeps reminding people he is himself and no one else#I've seen people read under romantic lens the fact that 'Dan' in engraved on the spear and that it marks how it's Dan Fen.g's#tied to the fact that Dan Feng too struggled with that reclamation of the self vs. giving up on himself entirely for a role#And it surprised me tbh. Romantic or platonic I didn't read it under that view at all maybe because I had read like in July#that the High Elders are named using the first character of their past ('Bai'‚ 'Dan'). I don't remember that appearing in canon explicitly#but it's a repeated pattern and back in the early Bail.u/Bai.heng theories it was something very often brought up#So my reading was that Yingxin.g was acting like a Furnace Master there#He had made a spear for the High Elder‚ and that role would transcend Dan Feng as a person and fall onto someone else eventually#As it does in some way onto Dan Heng now‚ to whom the spear responds#Yingxin.g the Furnace Master more than the friend had made a spear for the High Elder‚ and that role would transcend Dan Fen.g#I don't know... I've often read very sweet interpretations of this but the way I saw it I can't help but find it heartbreaking haha#Anyway I'm saying this because read this way his other idle animation‚ the one with the spear‚#also enhances the continuity of his self with Dan Fen.g's not just in personhood but in role#And considering Dan Heng's voiceline about Cloud Piercer is also a choice he makes even if the spear preceded him#So again a choice that is perhaps somewhat conditioned by the preexisting context but a choice he makes nonetheless#Like how he takes responsibility from his past but also decides to move on and reclaims his identity as something separate#Anyway... the Cloud Piercer thing is all theories for now. I don't think we know for sure if the continuity of the same first character#is something established in canon. Maybe it just happened these two times with Dan Heng and Bailu#because of the particularity of their cases#But I think it is coherent and that it would enhance this narrative motif or subject in Dan Hen.g's characterisation and arc#I find that concept of his very intriguing I hope it will be well developed in the future#As of now I find what they've done with it thus far a bit dull most of the time considering the potential it has
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The Murderbot Diaries: And then Murderbot slowly learns over the course of the series to set its boundaries and make its boundaries in regards to touch known. Its friends respect its boundaries once they learn what they are and never shame it or force it to change or adapt to suit them. The one time anyone ever asks it to compromise its boundaries, she immediately regrets doing so, it is portrayed as a bad thing, and both characters move forward with deeper understanding and respect for eachother. The message here is that respecting people's boundaries is always important even if they're not boundaries you understand or agree with. The message here is that setting boundaries is healthy and normal and you should do it for your own mental well-being.
Ableists in the fandom: actually it should get rid of its boundaries. The only way for it to heal is for it to remove all of the boundaries that make it inconveneint for shipping or unpalatable for people like me, someone who's normal and likes being touched just like normal people all do. Only people who have something wrong with them that needs fixed don't want to be touched and set boundaries about touch. Murderbot should be normal like me!!!
#Rjalker reads The Murderbot Diaries#The Murderbot Diaries#TMBD fandom ableism#TMBD fandom athiktomisia#Murderbot deserves a better fandom#TMBD fandom solitaremisia#Solitaremisia#because we can't even catch a break from other touch averse people.#they think that because they get touch starved everyone has to and its required#for healing and being happy#Ayda Mensah#actuallysolitaremit#actually solitaremit#solitaremity#Murderbot is touch averse#Murderbot is solitaremit
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🚗🔪.
#without context the emojis are like vehicular manslaughter or something lol#but in reality they're there because i'm gonna strangle my other brother when i get home#my mom told me that he got into an accident earlier this morning#and he's fine and the car is alright for the most part like it's cosmetic damage#but apparently the other car is really fucked and my brother got a ticket#and like my brother is not an adult he's a kid so that's points and school and shit already#but fuck dude#my family can't catch a fucking break with vehicles this year this is a nightmare#first they stole our new car#then the other one got fucking totaled#then my car got fucked#then my stepdad's car started fucking falling apart so it's currently fucked#and now this#like please @ god and the universe please give us a break#this is so much money that family doesn't fucking have and it's just drowning us we can't dude#the police and insurance never help us they just raise our rates and pretend to file a fucking report#this is at least one of the reasons why americans can never fucking get ahead#how are you supposed to when the things that should be helping you are causing the fucking problem instead?#idk man i'm just so tired#i hate worrying even more about money and my family#i didn't meet my donation goal and i feel bad about that again#because i feel like i'm guilt-tripping people into donating#but then i'm stuck paying $1000 that i don't even have so like what am i supposed to do?#you try to do good things for a good cause but fuck dude#money is the root of all evil#cyndy speaks
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your post about sylus essentially conditioning the reader to sit on his lap hasjsakddf that was so perfect and in character 😭 i love it sm its given me so much brain rot - how bout this:
can i request the lads boys reaction to the reader randomly asking to be carried/picked up in the middle of walking? for no other reason just to see how'd they react lol
LaDS casually carrying MC
Xavier
The most casual. He just smiles at you and asks, "Bridal or piggyback?" in the same tone as if he's asking what you want to eat.
And he's not just playing along. He means it. He wants to be the one you lean on — metaphorically and literally.
You can try and backtrack but then you'll get those eyes. The bluest puppy dog eyes that can break the strongest of wills. "Are you sure? We still have a few blocks to go to the café, I don’t want you to get tired..."
You feel like you're holding out on him by not letting him carry you. The mind tricks this man is capable of to get what he wants are ridiculous.
You fold embarrassingly fast and Xavier is happy as can be with you on his back, your arms and legs around him like a full-body embrace. He can see the tactical advantage to carrying you like this during missions, too.
Rafayel
"You want me to carry you?“ Rafayel scoffs. “What if I pulled a muscle in my arm and couldn't draw for a week? No thank you!"
He refuses until you ask if it's not that he doesn't want to carry you, but that he can't.
Now you've wounded his pride. He might not be the God of the Sea anymore, but he can't let this go unanswered! Rafayel will be on you relentlessly to let him pick you up, no matter how long it takes.
"Whoa, be careful, cutie! There's no telling how deep these puddles are from all the rain — you're super lucky your boyfriend is here to carry you to safety."
When you finally break and let him do it just so he can prove a point, he realizes he likes this way more than he thought he would. You're like his adorable little prisoner and the only way you're getting out is in praise and smooches. This will become a regular thing, I fear.
Zayne
“I told you to wear more comfortable shoes.”
Zayne inwardly grins at how quickly you deflate at his blunt response. It's adorable.
But Zayne has a hard time denying you something so innocent as wanting to be close to him. So he guides your arm to wrap around his shoulders and picks you up with a strength that always takes you by surprise.
He waits for you to settle comfortably in his arms before he starts walking. He's aware of the disapproving stares from the people around you and not too long ago, he would've been one of them. How quickly his perspective has changed because of you.
Zayne is brought out of his thoughts when he feels you peck his cheek and now you get that oh so familiar look of gentle reproach from him. "I am working on being more affectionate but I'm not there yet, MC. Now, behave or your ride will end early."
Sylus
Sylus is so caught off guard that, for once, you can see his entire thought process play out through his expressions.
Surprise at your request, suspicion you're just toying with him, the realization you're being somewhat serious, and then the most gratified look you've ever seen on his stupid smug face.
Now you’re speaking his language. So delighted you’re finally catching on, he just picks you up and continues on his way without breaking his stride.
However, you didn't specify how he should carry you. So you're draped over Sylus's shoulder and to keep you there, his hand is dangerously high up on your thigh for being in public. The smack on your ass is so inevitable, you can feel it like it's already happened.
"You just said you were tired, now you want me to put you down? You need to learn to make up your mind, kitten. I'll just carry you until you're sure of what you want."
#i think rafayel is the only one who hasn't carried us yet...? correct me if i'm wrong#love and deepspace#love & deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#love & deepspace x reader#lads x reader#l&ds x reader#my writing
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in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!
they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.
they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.
you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.
but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.
where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.
and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?
doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.
but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.
what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.
just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?
your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.
#spilled ink#warm up#writeblr#this is about someone specific but feel free to blorbo on main.#tbh this is familial for me so that is an element but it's also about childhood best friends#and probably about ur enemies to lovers blorbo#(but i want to specifically say if ur partner is like this. not necessarily a good partnership lol.)#(the dynamics at play in familial/friend relationships feel equally important and in some ways are HARDER to escape.#bc we can see that this is a potentially toxic romantic foundation.#but in family ? ...... it's toxic and it doesn't stop u from loving them. bc u always have.#and i think that makes it harder. by a lot. which is what this is referencing).#but genuinely and really truly forever feel free to tag ur potentially toxic enemies to lovers on this and all my poetry#here i'll do one for u - adora & catra :x
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1000 NOTES IN THE LAST DAY GOT FALASTIN AROUND 130$. THAT'S 13 FUCKING CENTS PER REBLOG.
I CAN'T RELAX FOR ONE FUCKING DAY. EVERY TIME I THINK I CAN TAKE A BREAK IT BITES ME IN THE ASS BECAUSE WHAT? IF I DON'T SCREAM AT TUMBLR USERS FOR 8 FUCKING HOURS SHE GETS NO FUCKING DONATIONS. IF I DON'T MAKE NEW POSTS EVERY TWO FUCKING DAYS WE GET THIS BULLSHIT.
OH ARE YOU TIRED OF SEEING THE SAME POST? YOU DON'T WANT TO REBLOG THE SAME BASE?
NEITHER ME OR FALASTIN ARE WRITERS OF YOUR BLAND WATERY SHOWS OR FANFICS, NOR ME OR HER SHOULD BE FUCKING REQUIRED TO SUPPLY YOU WITH A NEW GRUEL EVERY DAY TO GET DONATIONS.
WE ARE NOT NEWS ANCHORS OR FUCKING HISTORIANS, AND YET THE ONLY TIME WHEN SHE'S NOT FOCUSING ON HER FAMILY SHE GETS SOME ATTENTION FROM BIG BLOGS. ARE HER OTHER POSTS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU? PLEASE TELL ME, BECAUSE ALL OF YOU HAVE DMS AND/OR ASKS CLOSED.
SHE GOT ANOTHER MARTYR IN HER FAMILY JUST 4 DAYS AGO, SHE RIPPED HER HEART OUT FOR YOU ALL TO SEE AND SHARED HER GRIEF IN THE OPEN, AND WHAT IT GOT HER? 1,5K$? IS IT HOW MUCH HER COUSIN WAS WORTH IN YOUR EYES?
FALASTIN DIDN'T CATCH A BREAK FOR A FUCKING YEAR NOW, AND YET SHE STILL WRITES HERE, IN ENGLISH (!!!), ON THIS FUCKING PLATFORM WHERE SHE GETS MESSAGES FROM SCAMMERS, ZIONISTS AND CREEPS. SHE DOES THAT BECAUSE THERE ARE 24 FUCKING PEOPLE DEPENDING ON HER IN GAZA AND SHE CAN'T GIVE UP.
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU SAW THIS POST TEN MILLION TIMES, BOOST AND FUCKING DONATE. DO THAT EVERY FUCKING TIME YOU SEE ANOTHER FUNDRAISER POST, THE FIRST TIME YOU SEE IT, THE SECOND, THE THIRD, AND EVERY FUCKING TIME AFTER THAT.
YES SHE WAS VETTED, SEVERAL TIMES:
#282 IN VETTED GAZA EVACUATION FUNDRAISER LIST [HERE], #957 IN BUTTERFLY EFFECT PROJECT [HERE]
YOU CAN LOOK AT HER ACCOUNT [HERE]
MORE THAN 10$ DONATED CAN GET YOU A COMMISSION FROM ME IF YOU DM THE PROOF TO ME. MY ART BLOG WAS TERMINATED ALMOST TWO WEEKS AGO AND IT'S STILL NOT RESOLVED SO PLEASE DM WITH QUESTIONS.
GO FUCKING DONATE AND CHECK THE RATES BEFORE YOU DO:
10$ = 103 SEK
25$ = 259 SEK
50$ = 518 SEK
100$ = 1,036 SEK
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